More than anything

I sat down today to share my heart with God. To be open and honest with him about the condition of my heart and the desires that dwelt within. In this time of prayer I caught myself praying “more than anything, God, I want…”

First of all, God has blessed me so much, and provided for me in ways that far surpass my basic needs and so I feel guilty asking (and sometimes demanding) more from God. So I find myself trying to hide my “more than anything” from God. This is clearly a really stupid thing to do you can’t hide anything from God, He knows us better then we know ourselves. I can’t hide anything from God, and I can’t fool God, but I’m pretty good at fooling myself!

So now back to my prayer. I found myself praying that even though God has given me so much already, more than anything I want… (sorry not quite ready to share that one yet) and as soon as the words left my mouth I had to stop and catch my breath, because it was upon hearing my own words, speak out loud the desire that was buried deep within my heart, that God revealed to me what the problem was. There was something within my heart that I longed for more, then what I longed for God. I know, that to be in the right place with God, he needs to be my hearts desire, my “more than anything”. And He has been. But somewhere along the way, something else has crept in. And just like Adam and Even hid from God in the garden, I tried to hide this from God, but ended up deceiving myself instead.

This is where we can become unstuck. We know and recognise all that God has done for us, and even now, it doesn’t make sense to me that I would let something else take his place in my life. So we don’t admit to ourselves when we thirst for something other then God. The problem with that though, is that when we don’t admit to ourselves that something else has crept in, we can’t ask for God’s help with it. God wants honesty and true relationship from us. So it means being honest, when other things get in the way, and then having the strength to ask God, to help us put things back into their rightful place.

I now feel released, and free once again, because I am no longer working so hard to hide things from God. More often then not, we don’t even know we are hiding from God. But weather we recognise we’re hiding or not, it takes effort to do so, and puts distance between ourselves and God. There is nothing wrong with wanting things, or asking God to answer our prayers. And I am still praying for that desire. But we must not take our eyes of Jesus. We must never stop pursuing Him, and if we continue to pursue His will for our lives, we will receive His blessings, and the desires of our hearts. As His word says “you have granted him the desire of his heart and have not withheld the request of his lips.” Psalm 21:2

When there is something we want to hide from a friend, we often avoid them, even if there is no rift in our relationship with them. Simply the guilt that there is something we’re not telling them can be enough to make it hard for us to face them. So when you’re talking to God an you don’t feel at peace in the freedom He has given you, or if you find yourself putting off your time with God, procrastinating and finding other things to do instead, or escaping into TV land when you know you should be meeting with God, if just may be that you are hiding something from God. Take the time today, to share your heart with God. Just sit at his feet and allow Him to search your heart and reveal the areas you haven’t completely given over yet. Don’t be afraid. Instead, embrace the freedom and peace he offers you and rest in knowledge that His love surrounds you.